Introducing...Abigail Ruth Gerdes!!!
- Born: Tues., Nov. 26th, 2019 @ 1:25am
- Weight: 7 lbs, 11.5 oz
- Length: 19.5 inches
- Hospital: DePaul
- Midwife: Ericka
- Doula: Rebekah
- Nurse: Janeen
- Emotional Support: Phoebe and Haley
- Older Sibling Support: Dean and Gabe
Praise be to God for our sweet little Abigail Ruth! He deserves all the honor and the glory, first and foremost.
Side Note:
Before I dive into Abigail Ruth's birth story, I thought it might be beneficial to share the links to the birth stories of my first three children, to paint the full picture as to why delivering Baby #4 via a third VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) was so very important to me.Jeremiah and Josiah
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, ' "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." ' In other words, God's plans are always bigger and better than ours! I've learned this time and time again, especially with the conception of each of our children. Jeremiah was conceived when Jeremy was between jobs, collecting unemployment, and we were scraping by on my miserly teacher salary. Josiah was conceived when we were on one of Jeremy's short term job transfers, at a time when we weren't exactly sure where we'd be living next. Annabelle was conceived at the exact same time that we made one of the biggest life changes for our family, when we started our homeschooling journey. Abigail was conceived shortly after I trudged through one of the darkest mental health battles of my life. What do all four of these conceptions have in common? One simple answer - God's timing, not our own. Each time, we thought we had a plan, and then God showed us He had an even bigger, better plan. With the birth of each baby, we've been able to see God's faithfulness in every detail of every story.
As mentioned above, my mental health took a nose dive in 2018. I've always struggled with anxiety and OCD, but that particular year, upon enduring the heartache of rejection from a handful of my family members, all at the same time, I experienced something I'd never quite experienced before. Depression. Thankfully, my story does not end there, and after getting back on track with my health at the beginning of 2019, by eating clean, along with starting to see a counselor and getting back on meds, things began to be on the up and up. One of the biggest blessings was that for the first time in a long time, I finally had a wonderful little group of friends that loved me for me. These three gals became my favorite people to be around because they constantly validated me, built me up, made me laugh, and encouraged me in my walk with the Lord. I don't think any of us will ever forget 'Galentines' in February, as it was a night of laughter, fellowship, and new beginnings. God used these precious sisters in Christ to help fill my cup, and to truly turn my mourning into dancing! A few weeks after that, at the beginning of March, the Gerdes side of our family experienced one of the most joyous times of our lives when we witnessed the marriage of Haley and Gabe (Jeremy's youngest brother). As Jeremy and I danced the night away at the reception, the happiest we'd been together in a long time, little did we know our lives were about to change in a big way, as Baby #4 was about to be conceived.
At the end of March, I started to feel a bit 'off' and extremely exhausted, which at the time, I thought was simply due to the new medication I had just started. Well, as symptoms progressed, and after a quick peek at my calendar, I decided to take a pregnancy test. And sure enough, literally within three seconds, the test showed a very clear positive. The word 'shocked' doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling at that moment. For the past three years, we thought we were done adding babies to our family, and with this new piece of information, we now knew that God had other plans. From the very beginning, Jeremy was my rock. He said, from that very first moment, what a blessing it was that God chose to add another child to our family. At first, we kept this news to ourselves, as we've always done, with all of our children, until we had the chance to hear the heartbeat for the first time at our first OB appointment.
The initial shock quickly turned into pure joy and excitement during the next few weeks, when we surprised Grandma Phoebe and Grandpa Dean with the big news, by having Annabelle run up to them with a 'Big Sister' shirt on, and later when we made phone calls to our other family members and close friends on Easter Day in April. Every person we told, was completely overjoyed for us, which of course was very heartwarming. It was around that time that I found out my very best friend of 17 years was also pregnant, with a surprise blessing, and due the month before me. What a special moment we had, sharing our big news with each other, on one of our visits.
Because of being in my mid-thirties with this fourth pregnancy, my OBs/midwives suggested that I take an early blood test at 10 weeks, to rule out any possible chromosomal abnormalities. This test also would be able to tell us the gender of our baby. I'll never forget that moment, on a Saturday morning in early May, when Jeremy and I opened my email to the test results, which all came back normal, but also said the words 'data is consistent with a female fetus.' In that moment, I felt a surge of joy spring up from my soul, in realizing, I'd now get to be the mama of two boys and two GIRLS! I dropped to my knees, cried tears of joy, and of course called Grammy Nancy and Grampy Jerry right away to tell them the exciting news. As only God could orchestrate, we happened to be meeting up with Grandma Phoebe, Aunty Jess, and Uncle Hans that day at Sandbridge beach. So we quickly put a pink tiara and pink onesie inside of a gift bag and presented it to them as soon as we met up with them. They, too, were completely overjoyed with the news!
At the end of June, Grandma Phoebe joined me for my 18 week ultrasound with our favorite sonographer, Katherine, and we were so blessed to find out that our baby girl was growing strong and healthy, so much so, that she already had 'juicy' thighs, according to Katherine! Typically, the morphology scan is not done until 20 weeks, but Katherine graciously signed off on it, since she knew we were leaving the next day for our month-long trip to Wisconsin/Michigan, and would not be back until the very end of July.
On the way home from that ultrasound, I was able to share with Grandma Phoebe the name that God put on my heart for our baby girl. We'd name her Abigail Ruth, both of which are biblical names, as well as family names. Abigail was in honor of Jeremy's cousin Abby, who passed away when she was close to the age we both are now. She's also the daughter of our precious Aunt Becky (Phoebe's sister) who we both feel a very strong bond with. Ruth was in honor of my grandma, Ruth Ann, who is now 91, and has had an incredible influence on my life. The name Ruth was also to symbolize the special mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship that Phoebe and I have, just like Ruth and Naomi in the Bible. Grandma Phoebe cried happy tears as I gave the explanation of our baby girl's name. A few weeks later, while on our month-long trip to Wisconsin/Michigan, Jeremy and I were able to share, in person, with Aunt Becky, and later Grandma Ruth Ann, that we planned to name our baby girl Abigail Ruth, in their honor. Those were special moments that we'll always treasure. A few days after we returned from our trip, Jeremy and I went to a special ultrasound at MFM to double check the baby's heart, due to the medication I was on. Thankfully, everything was normal, and as an added bonus, we got to see the coolest 3D images of our baby girl's face! Cue the happy tears, yet again!
This particular pregnancy was by far, the hardest one on my body, out of all four. From the very beginning, my pelvis/hips/lower back were in constant pain, which often brought me to tears. In fact, at the beginning of my pregnancy, while walking around DC, I doubled over in pain, to the point I thought I might actually be miscarrying. The only true pain relief I got in this pregnancy was from my amazing chiropractor, Dr. Tiffany, who also brought me great relief during my previous two pregnancies. After each of her adjustments, via the Webster Technique, I felt like a new woman. Unfortunately, the pain would always return a few days later, which is why she recommended that I get adjusted twice per week. But because of our tight budget, I was only able to afford to go once per week or every other week. My nausea was also challenging during this pregnancy. During the first trimester, I lost close to 10 pounds, because, for a while, all I could keep down was tiny amounts of soup, bread, and crackers. During my second trimester, the nausea started to ease up, little by little, and I gained the weight back by about 25 weeks. I was feeling somewhat back to normal, as the beginning of my third trimester started, just in time to enjoy all the yummy food at my baby shower, thrown by Grandma Phoebe and Aunty Jess at the end of August. It was at that time that 15 of my closest friends joined together to bless us with thousands of diapers and wipes, and other generous gifts, along with praying specific prayers for me and Abigail Ruth, as well as our upcoming birth, and our family's transition to welcoming another baby. Over the next few months, we witnessed God answer each of those prayers, in ways that were exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ask or imagine.
As we started our fifth year of homeschooling in September, the kiddos and I made it our goal to finish as much school work as we could before welcoming our new baby. The boys worked so hard, doubling up on math lessons, to get to the halfway point in their math curriculum, as well as finishing their science curriculum in October, and finishing their history curriculum in November. Because of their hard work, they earned the reward of taking a six week break from school, from the end of November, through the holidays, and into the first week of January. I'm so thankful we were able to work together to prepare for the arrival of baby sister, because in doing so, I was able to go into Abigail Ruth's birth, with the peace of mind of knowing I could fully focus on her. And sure enough, my body followed suit, as with each OB/midwife appointment, every Friday in November, it was confirmed that my body was making more and more progress, week by week.
By my very last appointment, just a few days before my due date, Midwife Lorena swept my membranes and was able to tell me that I was 3 centimeters dilated and 60% effaced. This was very reassuring to hear, after a few weeks of on and off contractions, lots of pain and pressure, quite a bit of walking, drinking large amounts of red raspberry leaf tea, and other natural induction methods. While at the movie theater that Saturday, with the whole family, I had painful contractions that were about 8-10 minutes apart. But as soon as I got home, laid down, and drank a bunch of water, they fizzled back out again, just as they had done over the past few weeks. The next day, Sunday, I had a random burst of energy, the day before my due date, so I decided to make a few of our traditional Thanksgiving week treats, as Thanksgiving was coming up just four days later. Little did I know at the time, that little burst of energy may have been my body's way of telling me that big things were getting ready to happen the very next day.
On the morning of my due date, Monday, November 25th, I woke up at 4:00am with painful contractions, diarrhea, and heartburn. Jeremy woke up shortly after that to take a shower and get dressed to go to work. I asked him to hold off on going to work just yet, as I was having painful contractions that were 10 minutes apart. I took a bath and drank a bunch of water, but the contractions still continued to stay at 10 minutes apart. So Jeremy eventually decided to call in sick to work and not go in at all. My contractions continued throughout the entire day, at 10 minutes apart, and never actually stopped, but also didn't get closer together, no matter what I tried. I took walks, bounced on my birthing ball, ate pineapple, and drank tons of red raspberry tea. Grandma Phoebe and Grandpa Dean came over for a bit to visit with us, and were ready to take the kids, if the contractions got closer together. But even into the early afternoon, contractions were still 10 minutes apart, so they decided to head home, and to take Annabelle with them.
Around 2:00pm that afternoon, after I had been keeping Doula Rebekah updated throughout the day, she came over to my house to walk with me, encourage me, and give me a massage. What a wonderful blessing Doula Rebekah was to me from the beginning of my pregnancy, when she was introduced to me by our mutual friend Ruth, and what a blessing she continued to be, all the way through my entire labor and delivery, on into the following week, stopping in to check on me. As we walked around the block that afternoon, neither of us knew that Abigail Ruth would be born less than 12 hours later! Even throughout our visit, contractions still continued to stay 10 minutes apart. So she eventually headed home, and told me to call her if anything were to change.
After bouncing on my birthing ball, taking walks, and counting contractions for most of the day, around 5:00pm, I decided to take a break and spend some quality time with Jeremy. Then I got into the bath and drank even more red raspberry leaf tea (supposedly gets the uterus ready for strong contractions) and snacked on pineapple (supposedly softens the cervix/brings on contractions). Well I don't know if it was the combination of all those things at once, or maybe all the work my body had done with all those 10-minute-apart contractions all day long, but all of the sudden, as I was getting out of the bath, strong, powerful, crazy painful contractions started coming on, to the point that I could barely stand up, and I was instantly brought to tears. These contractions were the most intense I had felt yet, and were six minutes apart. So Jeremy and I agreed it was time to call Uncle Gabe to come get the boys, and to also to call Doula Rebekah to come back over. Just as Uncle Gabe walked in to take the boys, Doula Rebekah arrived and immediately started praying with me, reassuring me, giving me counterpressure on my lower back, and counting contractions. We agreed it was time to call labor and delivery at DePaul. Upon hearing Midwife Ericka tell me I was likely in labor, we decided to head to the hospital, a little before 7:00pm.
On the 20-minute drive to the hospital, I had 5 very strong contractions, which continued getting closer and closer together. By the time I checked into labor and delivery, my contractions were 3 minutes apart, my cervix was 5 centimeters dilated and 100% effaced, and the baby was in -2 station in my pelvis. Things were progressing quickly! Over the next few hours, Midwife Ericka and Nurse Janeen continued to check in on me from time to time, but also gave me space to work through my contractions with the help of Jeremy and Doula Rebekah, while sweetly dimming the lights to help me relax. Jeremy got the comforting lavender oil going in the diffusers and put on peaceful music for me to listen to. Doula Rebekah continued to offer counter pressure, back rubs, and words of encouragement. During this time, I was also able to talk to my parents on the phone, and I was comforted by their prayers and encouragement. The contractions started to become unbearable and were very close together, so after much prayer and deliberation, Jeremy and I decided that I would get the epidural, as I was very tired after having been in early labor for 13 hours, followed by active labor for 5 hours.
At around 10:00pm, a wonderful and very patient anesthesiologist, named Howie, came in to give me my epidural. It took effect almost immediately, and for the first time in nine months, I was in absolutely no pain at all. It felt amazing! I had a warm feeling from my belly button down through my legs, almost as if I were sitting in a hot tub. I could no longer feel the pain of the contractions, but only knew they were happening because of the pressure, and even that, I could hardly feel, because I was completely numb. The only unfortunate thing was that the epidural gave me the shakes, and made my blood pressure drop pretty low. I didn't mind the shakes too much, because I knew I'd rather have those than feel the intense pain I had been having before the epidural.
At 10:20pm, I suddenly felt a gush, as my water broke on its own after one of the strong contractions. At 11:15pm, Midwife Ericka checked my cervix again and told me I was 8 centimeters dilated. She also gave me some medicine in my IV to try to help bring my blood pressure back up, as it was still very low at about 84/44. When the medication didn't seem to help much, Midwife Ericka and Nurse Janeen helped turn me from one side to the other, every 20 minutes or so, for the next hour and a half. Jeremy later told me that the baby had had three heart decelerations, where the heart rate dropped slightly, which was also another reason they kept having to turn me from side to side. I'm so glad my whole team remained calm the whole time, so as not to worry me about the heart decelerations. I'm also thankful Jeremy had the wisdom to not tell me about those until afterward. It felt so strange to need help turning from side to side in the bed, since my legs were numb. I could only use my arms, to pull on the bed rails, to help them turn my body. A peanut ball was put between my legs each time I was laying on my side, to continue to encourage the baby to move downward.
Around 1:00am, Midwife Erica checked my cervix again and told me I was 10 centimeters and ready to push! I expressed my concerns to Doula Rebekah that I wasn't sure how I was going to push, since I still couldn't feel my legs. But she gave me a little pep talk and encouraged me by saying she was going to help me by talking me through it and counting aloud for me while I pushed. Sure enough, she did just that, along with Midwife Ericka and Nurse Janeen patiently instructing me on how to make my pushes more effective. With Jeremy holding my left leg back, Doula Rebekah holding my right leg back, my chin to my chest, and using my hands to pull beind my legs, I pushed with each contraction, as contractions were now right on top of each other. Thanks to the epidural, I still wasn't feeling any pain, but could definitely feel the increased pressure moving toward my bottom, as the baby moved further down in the birth canal.
At 1:25am, Abigail Ruth made her grand debut! After 20 minutes of pushing, I was extremely encouraged and excited when the whole team told me they could see the baby's head, specifically her thick, dark hair! This reassurance gave me that last little burst of energy I needed to push her head out, at which point, Midwife Ericka had me stop pushing for a brief moment while she unwrapped the umbilical cord, which thankfully was only loosely wrapped two times around the baby's neck. Quickly after that, with one more push, Abigail Ruth was delivered the rest of the way, then she took her first breath, let out a healthy cry, and was brought to my chest, where she immediately latched onto my left breast. What an incredible moment, overflowing with joy!
It was at that time that Jeremy texted Grandma Phoebe and Aunty Haley, who were just footsteps down the hall, in the waiting room. They were able to meet Abigail Ruth when she was only two minutes old, placenta and umbilical cord still attached! What a tremendous blessing to have both of them there to share in those first precious moments of welcoming our newest baby girl into the world! Quickly after that, Jeremy cut the cord, the placenta was delivered, and Midwife Ericka confirmed that there were no tears down below. Abigail Ruth was briefly taken over to the warmer to be weighed and cleaned off, before being returned to my arms, where she nursed on both sides for most of the 'magic hour' as they refer to it at Depaul. Eventually, we were transferred from our labor and delivery room, down the hall, to our mother and baby room. We were cared for by wonderful nurses throughout the wee hours of the morning, and on into the day. Jeremy and I even got to enjoy a steak dinner, along with all kinds of other delicious meals, delivered to us from the kitchen staff. When Abigail was about 12 hours old, she met her older siblings for the first time, as well as her Grandpa Dean and Uncle Gabe, and got a longer visit this time with Grandma Phoebe and Aunty Haley. She was passed around from family member to family member, and hardly made a fuss. We were discharged from the hospital about 24 hours later, just in time to be home to celebrate Thanksgiving the next day!
It is easy to see God's fingerprints all over every detail of this fourth pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Even though the beginning of the pregnancy was rough, physically and emotionally, with the pain and nausea, God brought me relief as the pregnancy continued. He kept us safe and healthy during our entire month-long trip, and graciously allowed for me to not have gestational diabetes or group b strep, both of which I had in my previous pregnancy. He provided everything we needed for this baby, through thoughtful and generous friends and family. He gave the boys and I the perseverance to finish our school work, so that we could take a long break from homeschool, and focus on our new baby. He provided the most amazing doula, midwife, and nurses for a very peaceful, pain-free birth with no complications whatsoever. He lined the timing up perfectly, so that Grandma Phoebe and Aunty Haley were able to be at the hospital for the birth, while Grandpa Dean and Uncle Gabe stayed home to take care of the big siblings. He blessed us with successful and efficient breastfeeding from the beginning, and gave us all kinds of sweet moments to bond as a family of six. He even made it so that we were discharged from the hospital, in time to enjoy Thanksgiving from the comfort of our own home! We are forever grateful to the Lord for His faithfulness, and for giving us our sweet Abigail Ruth! Glory to God for the great things He has done!